


POPE IOANNES SHEPPARDUS DECREES SNOW DAY ON ATLANTIS

by esteefee



Series: Pope John [7]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, M/M, Mild Kink, Plot What Plot, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-23
Updated: 2012-06-23
Packaged: 2017-11-08 10:01:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/441997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/esteefee/pseuds/esteefee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>THE NETWORK IS DOWN. POPE IOANNES SHEPPARDUS DECREES SNOW DAY ON ATLANTIS. PORN IN THE PAPAL POOL ROOM.</p>
            </blockquote>





	POPE IOANNES SHEPPARDUS DECREES SNOW DAY ON ATLANTIS

**Author's Note:**

  * For [squidgie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/squidgie/gifts).



> For the [Moonridge Auction](http://www.mafg.org/home.htm), for the generous squidgiepdx!
> 
> Please see warning in the end notes.

There was no warning at all. One minute John was earnestly, if not happily, inputting supply reqs for the usual—ten cases of .45 GAP cartridges, replacement holster clips, and sneaking in an order of medical grade lubricant under the rubric "FIRST AID SUPPLIES"—when all of sudden auto-save to the server hung and his mouse froze.

He jammed at his keyboard a couple of times, swore in Latin—hey, those Franciscan friars he'd met at the last convention were pretty cool cats—and then hit his comm.

"Rodney, the network's down. I've just lost my spreadsheet."

"Yes, and you're not the, oh, _tenth_ person to bother me about this in the last three minutes."

John kicked back and hitched up his robe. "So, fix it already," he said, then grinned at Rodney's wordless howl of frustration. "Okay, okay. Listen—this is the third time this has happened this week—"

"Don't you think I'm aware of that, your Holy Jerkness?"

"Yeah, so, here's my idea—let Zelenka handle it this time. In fact, no big rush, everyone's pretty burned out, anyway after last week's little encounter with the stormtroopers from hell. Hang on a sec." 

John clicked over to talk to Elizabeth and after a quick convo, switched to general quarters and cleared his throat. "Now hear this. As the network is down once again and apparently it will take some small time to fix, and we've all had a rough week, Dr. Weir and I are officially declaring a snow day for all personnel. Have fun kids. Sheppard out."

His comm buzzed. "You have got to be kidding me."

"Nope. Tell Zelenka to take his time. And you should grab a towel and meet me in the pool under the Papal Dome."

"I have told you about a million times it is not the Papal Dome, it is the Arc of Tranquility. I looked it up in the database."

"Whatever. It's big and shiny and gold, so it's mine."

"Freak."

"Oops, gotta go." John clicked off as Major Lorne came in, a dimple creasing one cheek.

"So does snow day hold true for 2ICs as well?"

"Especially for overworked, underpaid 2ICs who're gonna help me figure out how to restore my spreadsheet after the network comes back up." 

"Uh-huh."

"In fact..." Ever since Teyla had started spending more time at her new soccer mission on Athos, Bishop Dex had developed a permanent scowl. John wasn't above playing Papal yenta. "Why don't you look up Ronon for a sparring session?"

Lorne laughed a little. "You call that a day off?"

"Maybe if you're lucky he'll let you play with his gun."

Lorne's eyebrows were pretty expressive.

:::

John beat Rodney to the Papal Dome, so he locked the door to their private code, and after he went to the shower room and washed down, he dove into the pool, leaving his little pile of supplies at the corner by the steps. 

Swimming in the nude always got things going downstairs, so after a couple of laps he let himself glide right over to the stairs and settled back with his arms resting over the side, and let himself float, the waterline tickling right at the base of his cock and nudging his balls, giving him a wicked shiver.

He told himself Rodney would be here soon, and it would be totally rude to start without him. Completely bad—a sin, really, not a good thing. A being bad thing.

His left hand had already crept down his sternum and was brushing down his stomach, smoothing away the beads of water there.

But he hadn't touched his dick yet. His fingertips were, like, fully three or four inches away—he could feel the heat of them against the head of his cock.

By amazing coincidence, his right hand was resting against the tube of waterproof lube. 

Brother Rodney was a guy who was always in a terrible, awful rush. He was always doing penance for his impatience—it was his thing. He didn't like to be kept waiting, John told himself. So, really, John would be doing him a favor, as a dutiful boyfriend-partner-buddy, to be ready for him. He'd be saving him some Hail Marys.

Oh, John was stroking his dick. See? He needed something to distract himself from his evil, evil, no-good dick. John plucked up the tube and squished some out onto his fingers, getting three of them nice and gooey, then turned around and knelt on the second stair, using the banister to steady himself.

Good thing, too, because those first two fingers going in felt amazing, especially with the water stroking his cock so sweet between his legs.

"Fuck," John said out loud, then winced at the way his voice echoed under the acoustics of the dome. Sliding in a third finger made him forget all about it, though, and he made another sound as he imagined how good it would feel when Rodney's—

"Ehem."

John turned his head. Think of the devil.

"You know, I thought this 'snow day' idea of yours was positively stupid, but the last ten minutes have proven me utterly wrong on that score."

John's neck went hot, and he pulled out his fingers and wiped them on his thigh. "You aren't naked enough for snow day," he commented stupidly, noticing Rodney's ridiculously baggy Hawai'ian-patterned trunks. 

Rodney shoved them off his hips and gestured, his dick standing tall. "Problem solved. Next?"

John pretended to think about it. 

"Oh, for Pete's sake." Then Rodney was finally within grabbing and dunking reach, and he definitely was as seal-slick-smooth as John had been hoping, his fingers tight and grabbing onto John's butt while they kissed.

"I know that little show wasn't for my benefit," Rodney said when John took a break to nibble on the funny mole on the side of Rodney's neck, "but I appreciate it just the same. You have no idea how absurdly hot—"

"Okay, enough about that." John pulled him back toward the steps. "I had a plan."

"I could tell."

"It was a good op plan. One—initiate snow day. Two—recon at the Pope Dome. Three—" John knelt on the middle step and handed back the lube and a rubber, then grabbed the edge of the pool and waited.

In the stillness, beneath the echoes of the lapping water, the sounds of Rodney slicking up his dick were obscenely loud. John ducked his head and grinned.

Rodney's hand was cool and wet on his hip, the nudge of his dick between John's cheeks gooey and unpleasant, but then he was pushing in, solid and warm and thick as hell, and John groaned low in his chest. He arched his back and tightened up, then relaxed. 

"You kill me," Rodney said, sounding breathless. "Seriously, I—" He pulled back and then shoved in again rudely, hips smacking up against John's ass, just the way he loved it. John stiffened up his arms and got ready, because sure enough with the third thrust Rodney was kicking into gear, and it felt so damned good, little shocks of pleasure, and the water was churning up around them, swirling around John's cock and balls like an added bonus, counterpoint to Rodney's cock moving in his ass.

John was making a little too much noise—or maybe not more than usual, except he couldn't muffle it into his arm or a pillow. His little "ohs" were being echoed all over the damned room, accompanied by Rodney's groans and gasps and the splashing of the water, but somehow that was making it hotter. John wasn't going to last very long like this, hearing it and feeling it in full surround. He was getting close to the edge.

Then Rodney gave him the good reach-around, his hand cupping John through the water. John's head shot up and his eyes opened.

And he stared right into the shocked face of Major Lorne standing in the entryway, Bishop Dex right behind him. 

_Holy Fuck._ John couldn't even process it because he was so damned close, and Rodney must have had his eyes closed, because he didn't stop thrusting or squeezing John's cock. John was helpless to do anything but drop his head and come hard.

He felt Rodney slowing a little, easing him through it—man, he was the best—but John's face was burning as he spilled into the water. God, poor Lorne, accidentally seeing his CO getting fucked his third week on base. John could just see the transfer request right now.

But when he looked up, Ronon had shoved Lorne's trunks down and was jerking him off, chin hanging over his shoulder as they both watched with bright eyes.

John blinked and then rested his chin on the back of his hand and let Rodney keep fucking him, each push giving him a hot jolt in the sensitive nerves in his ass. 

He thought Brother Lorne would do just fine in Pegasus after all. 

God bless snow day.

 

_End._

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: voyeurism is somewhat non-consensual, but please remember that John and Rodney have both been in a foursome with Ronon, so there is something of implied intimacy between them and awareness of their preferences in this regard.
> 
> [Pope John Masterlist](http://esteefee.livejournal.com/69844.html).


End file.
